For my friend, Linda Eskin

Linda has been writing about Aikido and states that she is a beginner. She is new on the mat. I do not believe she's been training longer than a year. She maintains a blog at http://www.grabmywrist.com and writes everyday.

Aikido is lucky to have such an enthusiastic student. It is sometimes easy to get caught up in the mechanics of the art, and lose the big picture. We sometimes use terms like "beginner's mind" as just some things to say and forget that we should keep this mind set always. Linda's wonderment of our art and appreciation of how it affects her personal, spiritual and professional life is nothing short of awe inspiring.

Recently, she wrote the following:
http://www.grabmywrist.com/post/256731733/scanning-instruments
and it reminded me of a meeting we had at our work once. One of the chairs from our parent company came and talked about the stages of competence. Those stages are:

• unconsciously incompetent
• consciously incompetent
• consciously competent
• unconsciously competent

As an example of this, take someone who has always wanted to learn French. They go about their lives not realizing that there is a desire to learn the language and being unconscious about their inability.

Perhaps they go to a French movie and are moved by the tonal qualities of the language, see on the screen the expressive involvement that the attributes of the language allow for and realize that they do not know this language and want to learn it. They are now conscious about their incompetence in the language.

They go take a class, and another, and then another. They first struggle with "Oui" and "merci" but after a semesters worth of classes, they are now able to ask where the bathroom is, who put the pen on the table, and please pass the snails. They are now consciously working to be competent in the French language.

Then, after years of practice, studying, reading Voltaire, Baudelaire and Proust, trips to France, and discipline, they now can dream in French. They understand the small subtleties of the French Language. They can talk on a philosophical level with ease on the nature of man, God, and our universe. French, now has become as easy as breathing. They have become unconsciously competent in their mastery of the language.

This process happens in our art. I really appreciate Linda's blog, and I enjoy the metaphor from her recent post, "Scanning the instruments". When we do this more and more, we become more adept at our art, whatever that art may be. We can have that instrumental scan happen on a deeper level and as a part of habit verses conscious effort.

Week 5 day 1 - On persistence

Recently, Robert Nadeau Sensei did a series of seminars. The theme was "Don't ask what you have to do to get 'this' done. Ask who you have to be."

I regret not going, however, I can do some thinking about this theme and take it to my own conclusions. There is a saying in T'ai Chi, "The mind moves the chi and the chi moves the body." I think that both of these thoughts are extremely profound. I am finding that both of I can enact both of these themes in my life, then I can live better and healthier.

I am one for small examples. I think that it is much more worth our endeavors to have small examples of positive action and thought than one big one. We can create small examples many more times than we can create the big ones. So, my small example today is this:

I took a fall in Aikido on Saturday. We were doing some free form training (Jiyu waza) and as I uke'd for my training partner, I got tangled up in his legs as he threw me. Rather than roll out of the throw I came straight down on my shoulder. I had never hurt myself in Aikido before and felt upset that I let this happen to me. I quickly thought that all of my efforts for the last few weeks would be for naught and that I would not be able to go to the gym for a few days or train.

But, Nadeau Sensei asks of us, "Who do we have to be to be to get 'this' done?" I think I know the answer. I have to be persistent, determined, patient and consistent. This doesn't mean killing myself. This does mean taking care of my shoulder with ice, ibuprofun and arnica cream and waiting till I got up this morning to see if I could go to the gym. My shoulder still hurt. It wasn't as bad as Saturday or Sunday but it still hurt. Well, there are other things I can do there. I can jump on an elliptical rider for 30 minutes. So I dd. 30 minutes. I may do this again on Wednesday and then attempt weights again on Friday. Part of the process for me is just simply knowing my limits, and working with them. This means I need to neither over or underestimate them. I can't lift, but I can walk. So I'll walk.

OK, I have to start my day now. See you next time.

Onegai shimasu!

Week 4 Day 3 - patience

Today I completed my last work out of my 4th week. I am seeing the benefits of being more consistent in my training. I keep on adding weight, even just a little at a time. I'm also managing to get back to the dojo a few times a week. Currently, my schedule looks something like:

m - 30 min circuit, Aikido class at nite
W - 30 min circuit
Th - Aikido
F - 30 min circuit
S - Aikido

I've also started "brisk walks" around my campus at work. Walking is a simple thing that I keep on forgetting to do. Recently we added .25 mile markers. Once around is 1.2 miles and takes about 20 min walking briskly. I can fit that in too.

So things are good. Consistency helps in many different areas, my work, my social life, and lately, I've been feeling pretty good being more active. Next week, in the spirit of patience and not overdoing it. i'll just add a few walks.

Week 4 day 2 - short but sweet

I finished week 4 day two. I didn't want to go today but made myself. As it turns out I'm still gaining strength, and am able to add 5 lbs here and 10 lbs there on some machines while maintaining good steady technique.

Onward to Week 4 day 3 on Friday!

The Silent Conversation of Birds

IMG_4613
Originally uploaded by markdeso

I was watching two crows fly around a pond a few days ago. They both flew as if they were one. Keeping the same distance between them, they knew when to turn, whether they were going left or right, how far of an angle or how much of a curve they would make on their flight path as they circled the pond, and whether they would ascend or descend. This happened with no audible signal, just an innate "knowing" between the two.

I wonder how I can cultivate that in my life. How I can tune in to my friends, coworkers, family, my partner with the same "knowing". Conversation is always a good thing. Knowing how to ask for something, how to receive it and being able to communicate verbally is a wonderful skill. The birds went beyond this though. I yearn to have that magic in my life, where a relationship can transcend the verbal communication.

As humans, we depend on verbal communication. I very much enjoy the act of sharing my thoughts, dreams, stories, jokes and fears with people close to me. Conversations of the heart are an important part of human interaction. There are other conversations though, and if we look, dig inside, and know us intimately we can have them as well.

We have learned a lot from animals. Scientists gain perspective on the nature of play by watching bear cubs frolick. They gain perspective of familial activities by watching apes tend to their young. They gain perspective on group think by herd animals. Shaolin monks copied the snake, the mantis, the tiger, to incorporate into their fighting styles. I look to the skies and am amazed and intrigued. I want to be able to have a conversation with someone I love dearly, transcending words and voice. I want to be able to gain perspective on the silent conversations of birds.

Week 4 day 1 - secret of consistancy

I'm figuring out that the secret to consistancy is to simply be consistant. I see people at my gym that live there. I decided a few weeks ago that I can do 3 days a week, and that I will do that faithfully. Part of the reason I blog is to keep a running tab on my work outs. When I look back at a string of tweets that say "Week x day y" i can feel that I've achieved something. I've added consistancy in my life, just a little bit more.

Last week I made it to the dojo three times on top of the three circuit work outs in the AM. I will commit to the dojo atleast twice a week for the next couple weeks and be happy if I can get a third class in too.

A good friend of mine is a personal trainer and is part owner of Undisputed Boxing Gym in San Carlos, CA. I remember a conversation a long time ago where he told me, that we shouldn't exercise to get stronger so we can go back to the gym and exercise and be stronger to go back to the gym and exercise more. He said that we should be going because being fit allows us to do run with our kids, play ball with them, enjoy a long walk, take a nice hike with someone we care about. Likewise, my Aikido teacher says that we should not live to train but train to live.

I'm glad that I'm reminded of this. So, week 4 day 1 is done. Just that much stronger and that much better on the stairs. Maybe one of these days I will be able to wrestle my son again and not be pinned inside of two minutes!

After the third week

3 facts about the number 3:

• This is the end of my 3rd week of being back to the gym
• I've committed to 3 days a week and have fulfilled my commitment thus far
• I've made it to 3 Aikido classes this week

So all in all this has been a good few weeks. I'm thankful for consistency in my life. I'm thankful for people who care about my progress. So, it is Sunday AM. It is cold in the house... I think it's time to turn on the heater and do some T'ai Chi.

Onegai shimasu!