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I've been tired lately. i'm attempting to buy a condo and it's.. well it's draining. Lots of things to think about, what do these reports mean? I have to pay what to which appraiser? All of this, along with a back that's been bugging me and work kicking my ass is taking a toll on the time I spend at the dojo. i'm averaging 2 days a week now on a good week.
I thought a bit today, not about the Aikido training I do at Aikido of Petaluma, but of the KodenKan school Jujitsu I did as a kid. Kodenkan (ancient tradition school) stresses that the senior students teach the junior students. This tradition is something that is informally practiced at our dojo, without affiliation to the Kodenkan school. Everyone at our school has a voice and is encouraged to speak their voice, from sensei to sempai to the person that just walked on the mat five minutes ago.
What I'm thinking is simply this: We are a community. It honors our teacher to show up to class. It gives us the opportunity to have another mind and body and allow those that we train with the opportunity to train and experience a different person, a different way of attacking, a different way of taking a fall and a different way of throwing through this person on the mat.
"But what could I possibly offer? Surely there must be others that are better equipped to teach someone?"
As a student senior to someone else, I can simply offer my experiences and my way of moving through a technique. Since I'm a bigger guy (Think Sumo lite) then I can offer inspiration to someone else that may be hesitant to get on the mat because of his size. As a student junior to others, i can offer my humility and willingness to learn something from someone else. These are the ways we can honor ourselves, our school and our Sensei. Although the Danzan Ryu system is much different than Aikido, the concept of the KodenKan school can transcend to how we view our participation in the dojo.
I think that this is a much different concept than just paying your tuition, showing up and learning techniques. I've learned compassion, patience, kindness, openness of body, mind and spirit. Aikido was created by a man who could not be defeated. He decided that there must be more to technique and winning, and thus, came to create our art for two main reasons: the loving protection of others and the polishing of spirit. Through our training we learn to live in teh world happy, fearless and joyful. These are well worth me coming back with more regularity.
A couple of coworkers and I went to the Web 2.0 Expo at the Mosconi Center in San Francisco, CA today. Although the turn out seemed to be rather sparce. There was still good information to be had. Here are the highlights of what we saw today.
Session - How to leverage Social Marketing for Search Engine Marketing
We started out with a session called "Optimizing Search Results with Social Media" sponsored by Verio Web Hosting and featuring Heather Lutze, Internet Marketing consultant. She had a wealth of great information. She started off with the important point about search engine ranking and using longer keyword strings to find users that are not casually browsing but in fact ready to perform some kind of action, whether buying a product or service. She contends that a search for "web hosting" while yielding millions of hits, is not as valuable as "web hosting for small business". There are much less hits for "web hosting for small business" but the people that are doing searches using a longer more focused string of keywords are much more likely to buy a service or product than someone using a less descript keyword search. Wehn writing for the web, phrases like that should be put in title tags, meta data and the body of your document whenever possible.
Links from the presentation:
http://www.verio.com/ - Sponsors of the presentation
http://www.lutzeconsulting.com/ - Heather's professional site
http://lutzeconsulting.com/Verio - Slides from W2.0 presentation
Keyword search tools
https://adwords.google.com/select/KeywordToolExternal
http://www.keyworddiscovery.com/search.html
Book Suggestions
Don't Make Me Think - Steve Krug
The Long Tail - Chris Anderson
We then went to the main expo hall where we interacted with several vendors. There were some good and some not so good presentations. Here are the highlights:
Denodo Technologies - Mashup company that claim to organize structured and unstructured data for use by the enterprise.
http://www.denodo.com
Yola - Web building service that allows drag and drop web building that is done in the web browser. Yola's services are targetted towards small businesses and personal web pages. They offer an amazing amount of web tools in the stie construction process.
http://www.yola.com
Jive - Jive provides social media software packages to businesses. Out of the box, their packages include scalable and configurable tools for blogging, forums, and other collaboration.
http://www.jivesoftware.com
Financial Content - Providers of businesss news, stock quotes, company and profiles, executive profiles, currancy rates for display on internet and intranet sites as standalone widgets, xml or rss.
http://www.financialcontent.com
Blue Kiwi - Offers software and services for the creation of collaboritive/social sites and tools.
http://bluekiwi-software.com/
Twinsoft - provides enterprise mashup technologies. We were most impressed with them. Their edge over the other mashup technologies is that they can utilize both screen scraping technologies as well as web services to produce their mashups. They can even utilize the green screen from legacy mainframe technologies in their mashups.
http://www.twinsoft.com/
JackBe - Provides enterprise mashup technologies. They provide some interesting point/click drag/drop tools for visually creating mashups.
http://www.jackbe.com
HiveLive - Provides collaboration tools for the enterprise.
http://www.hivelive.com/
This was a good event for us to go to. Hopefully this will spawn some interesting discussion at work on the implementation of enterprise 2.0 technologies in the near future.
Author's note: Agh, I've been woefully neglectful of my blog. I started this last post in late February. I've decided not to change anything in the original post, but simply finish it. Now I can self evaluate my process and get better at this.
I've been sick and haven't been able to practice aikido much in the last week and a half. it will be good to get back on the mat this evening, The last class I went to was taught by Sensei, who comes in to teach on Thursdays and Sundays. We've been working on O'Sensei's concepts of the manifest (physical), hidden (dream/imaginary state) and divine (the place where love, connection to the bigger picture, and spontaneous creativity "takemusu" come from), and expressing each of these levels in our techniques. This was a beautiful and intense class for me.
Throughout the class, Sensei would ask us to check in and describe how our technique was feeling in the context of these levels. At the manifest level, I felt very solid and broad based and I described the feeling I had as a mountain. As we worked through the next level, the hidden, my thoughts changed to "how would a mountain act if it was a living breathing soul?" My technique changed, it got more deliberate, as mountains take their time to do anything, my technique slowed down, I relied on the tenacity that a mountain would have that eventually something would change. And it did. I felt the same connection to the ground, felt the same connection to my center but felt that my techniques were slowed down, they became more effortless. Finally, at the divine level, things changed. I myself on top of the mountain. I felt alone, but not lonely. I was the mountain, but I was it's owner as well. I felt love, compassion, and embraced it. My technique felt lighter, there was less need for external movement. I felt a beautiful connection to my partner, the dojo and my Sensei.
Sensei does an interesting thing that I've not experienced in other Aikido classes. He goes around the room and solicits feedback from us. This is a practice I've had to get used to. Most other dojos will let the student come to their own conclusions off the mat about how they connect with Aikido, and what meaning it holds. However, in our dojo, it's an integral part of our process. It's not for everyone, and it wasn't for me for a long while. Since I opened up to this I feel that my Aikido has grown immensely though, as have I. As he went along and asked us for feedback, it came to be my turn. I started to speak but quickly found myself overcome with emotion. That's never happened to me before. It wasn't a bad thing. My love for the class at that moment was overwhelming though, and I didn't properly say what I wanted to say. So now I will say it.
The predominant school of thought in martial arts training is to train yourself to not think, but rather be instinctive in a conflict situation. There's nothing wrong with this, lest I be admonished by other martial artists that read this. I would hope that if I ever had to defend myself that I wouldn't be plagued by hesitation due to how I "think" or "feel" about the situation, but rather just do what I needed to. This mind set is needed everyday by police officers, doctors, firemen in truama situations. The thing that I'm most grateful for however, is the way Sensei asks us to use our uniquely human qualities of thought and evaluation to look at our technique and evaluate. This is something that is so much bigger than martial techniques but yet embodies the spirit of Aikido in all that we do. As a spiritual person, it is my duty to evaluate my actions in order to get to deepr levels within myself. @aikidoMAC, someone I follow on twitter, tweeted the following quote from O'Sensei recently: Begin the week with AGATSU - O Sensei says,"True victory is self-victory; let that day arrive quickly!” Self victory comes from the human process of self evaluation. Self evaluation is sometimes a double edged sword. Too much, and the inner critic raises it's ugly head. I need to keep in mind two simple things about self evaluation: It is a tool for getting better at something, and it does not change what has happened. Onegai Shimasu!
As a part of our New Years Eve celebration my son and I practiced T'ai Chi a little before 12:00 until a little after. I got the idea from hearing that many Aikido schools have a new years class that starts at 11:30pm on New Years Eve and ends at 12:30am. This signfies ending the year and starting the year with aikido. Since we both practice different martial arts, but also, both practice t'ai chi, I thought that we can take this thought and carve out our own ritual. As firecrackers went off, and neighbors hooted and hollared, we were doing "single whip", "waving hands at clouds", "white snake creeps down" and "golden pheasant stands on one leg". It was a great time of reflection and looking forward into the new year.
My friend, Ana Ammann recently asked me what my goals were for 2009. I liked her question a lot. It made me think about my goals I put forth for 2008. I decided in 2008 I would explore more of my creative side and I set forth upont those goals by getting back on the Aikido mat, keeping with my T'ai Chi practice, doing ball room dance, sharpening my photography skills, and keeping the mindset of creativity as much as I can. These actions allowed me to look at my work life, my family life, my friends, and my relationships with a creative and artistic eye.
For 2009, my goals have changed slightly but still on a creative path. The important thing that I'm adding is how I'm going to be creative. For me, 2009 offers a chance to do some internal creative work. This means looking at the light and dark corners of my mind, and doing some tried and true exercises like journaling, reading, and turning a little more inward. I'm not sure how this looks but I believe that I can find a path and a journey to begin by looking inward a bit more than I did in 2008. I am excited by the prospects.
To all, I wish you a wondrous new year.
For the past few months I've been looking for some kind of ritual that resonates with me. I needed something to bring some stillness in my life before I start my day and a way to connect to the universe around me. I spent a little time talking to a friend of mine who is a yoga teacher. She had completed a 40 day meditation and I was impressed with the discipline she had to complete it. She stressed the importance of being consistent with a practice so that it becomes ingrained, start with something simple, and see where it takes you. This is interestingly and not surprisingly how we start all of our new endeavors. it was good to hear that this works with meditation just as it does Aikido, T'ai Chi, ballroom dance, guitar, or anything else I've tried.
With regards to the specific needs that I needed to fill, I think I found it!
In our Aikido class on Thursday, Sensei did a very interesting exercise. We used hand positions (mudras) derived from the Shingon Buddhist sect as a kind of check point for a single technique. The practice went something like this:
- Sensei would introduce the mudras, talk about what the mudra signified from an energetic or metaphorical perspective
- We would hold the mudra for a moment with our partners and practice the technique
- Discuss as a class how the mudra altered the technique, what did we gain, lost, what experienced
we repeated this through the rest of the mudras.
This was an amazing practice, and it was just what I needed to incorporate into a ritual that resonates with me and allows me the ability to connect. As someone beginning a practice, I stick with the obvious, I don't try to go to more esoteric levels right now, so I stick with the more obvious thoughts that the mudras represent. As I start out, I take a moment to center myself and make myself present, then start with the mudras. I hold each position for 4 deep breaths and repeat the cycle a total of 3 times. We've recently been talking about cleansing rituals (called Misogi) and this has become my ritual of Misogi.
The nine, described by Sensei, are as follows:
- Hands joined together, as in prayer. Palms are not touching and creating space in between - This is symbolic of the womb. A place of creation. The first mudra is a great way for me to focus on the creation of a new day. It allows me to feel the fullness of the womb, insulated from outside, comfort, warmth, and safety.
- Left hand facing, right hand on top. Palms together at heart level - This mudra represents the Ying and Yang. Form the Tao Te Ching, the Tao produced the one, which gave birth the two, which gave birth to the ten thousand things. This allows me to think about my duality, my left and right, forward and back, up and down, dark and light. If indeed the tao made the one, and the two, then I have aspects of duality as well. This practice gives me the ability to hold the two close at heart and accept the totality of who I am.
- Fingers interlaced, index fingers point and touch at the tips, thumbs line up next to each other, hands at heart level - Signifies direction and intention. This brings focus and singlemindedness of thought. This is a great tool for me because by the very nature of my job, I am constantly multitasking. I believe that this will help me find another way to work.
- Hands are slightly below the belly button, both hands face up, left sits over right, thumbs come together and almost touch - There are many circles that come into play in this mudra - the belly button, the circle that the hands and thumb form, the circle the arms form. I think about the cyclical nature of things, how efficient movement is circular, and the relationship of circles to spirals and back to circles.
- Index finger of right hand out, riest of hand baleld into fist, left hand wrapped around index finger - The yonic and phallic symbols the hands form represents the masculine and feminine. Through this, I see how again, we have two sides, soft and hard. It allows me to think of the differences and ismilarities of male / female interconnection
- Hands come up to heart level, palms are together as in prayer - This is simple but beautiful, the mudra allows me to think of center. The hands held together gives me a great sense of devotion to God and the universe. This helps open me up to the sacredness and beauty of all things. At the same time helps support me and hold up my center.
- Hands are held up at heart level, palms are facing up, edge of the hands come together - Another simple but beautiful position, this is the mudra of giving and receiviing. Holding this position reminds me of both the act of giving and receiving. Both are equally important. The giving but also the receiving of help, service, gratitude, love and kindness holds relavence for me. Sometimes I'm not good at either, sometimes I'm good at only giving, or only receivng. The palms open can be held equally for both. This is a great reminder for me and a great way to focus my minds eye on the act of giving and receivng.
- Arms are extended and hands come together palms out, tips of the index finger are touching and the thumbs come togeher to make a triangle space,. this allows my gaze to focus through the space at a single focal point - This is symbolic of Mind, Body and Speech (thought). This is another way for me, similar to the thrid mudra, to think of a singularity of purpose, it allows me to concentrate on how Mind, Body and Spirit come together and integrate to bring my uniquely human experience to light.
- Hands togehter at heart level, fingers interlace tightly - Finally, as my fingers interlace, I think about all these things, center, devotion, masculinity, feminiity, dark, light, devotion, love, service are tightly woven to make up the totality of "I". It allows me to concentrate on the bigger conncetions, how there is no randomness, no coincidence, how I am connected through love and light to alll things.
One of our teachers, a friend of mine that teaches at our Aikido school talks about the fact that when we perform cleansing rituals, we give power to the rituals we undertake. That said, everything can be a ritual if we choose to make it so. This gives me great comfort in seeking out my own ritual of Misogi.
it's interesting to read a thread on youtube about how aikido is fake and doesn't have any practical applications in a "real street brawl." I totally agree! And I totally disagree!
The most important thing for me to be mindful of is why I train. I train to explore movement, understand my body, become more aware of how I present myself to the world, how I move by myself or with another, or several people. Most important, there are great metaphors in the concepts presented within the framework of Aikido that I can take off the mat and into all other aspects of my life.
I am lucky and blessed to have the Aikido teacher I train under. Our training is pretty unique. It is much gentler than I've been accustomed to from other dojos. We talk a lot more about the techniques we practice in a class session almost as much as we train. We check in and verbalize what we feel about a particular level we come into at a technique, Sensei gives us some tools to visualize how to better that level, and we have a few more go rounds, to try and move the level up a notch or two or eight.
It's hard to do this. I would have been content to just have Sensei demonstrate a technique, work on it for five minutes, have him demonstrate another, work on that for a bit, etc until class is done. But when I finally gave it a chance, (5 months ago, when I came back for the nth time) I started finding out something really interesting about my progress. I start seeing that there is only one attack and one response... the attack being, "anything that can happen at the time" and the response as being "anything that is the appropriate response." Wiithin this mindset, I find that I'm free to improvise, move, and the different manifestations of that one response can be whatever they want to be, be it irimi nage, tenshi nagi, etc.
Sensei is a big proponent of asking us to look at why we train, and not be misguided by thinking we can do what we cannot. A fight is a fight is a fight. We cannot ask our confronters to prearrange how they will attack us, or wait for us to straighten out our clothes, get into hamni position and then proceed to attack us. The danger in our training comes in thinking that we can do what we simply can't. There are other arts that are better at teaching practical application than Aikido. MMA, Brazilian Ju Jitsu, Wing Chun, some of the Israeli Commando fighting arts like Haganah are all systems of practical applications in a fight situation. But does this rule out Aikido as practical self defense? I would say most definetely not.
The biggest difference is when we choose to defend ourselves. A good defense could simply be being aware of your situation. Understanding the energy of a location and avoiding it is as good a defense that you can have as well. A kind word, rather than a reliance on physical ability can do wonders for everyone involved.
Sensei tells us of a time once where he was in a movie theater and a man stood up after the movie was done. Someone behind the man wanted to see the credits. He asked the man to sit down but he didnt' move. He asked him a couple more times. No reaction. At this point he started coming toward the man. Sensei was witnessing this and noticed that the man standing up had a hearing aid. He simply said to the man behind, "Hey, the guy has a hearing aid and can't hear you." No ego involved, no need to posture and get physical. Sensei said what he said in a calm collected way. That diffused the situation. No one was hurt, no egos were bruised, and the man standing in front walked away not knowing that anything had gone wrong.
if it ever comes down to brass tax and a physical conflct can't be avoided, I truly think that aikido training will help. The awareness that we gain through training, the calmness under pressure and the ability to think on our feet will carry us through. There are many stories on the net of physical confrontations ending favorable for the Aikidoist. Personally, I'd like to think that the best use of our "self defense" skills is the love that comes from us, and the ability to keep out of situations altogether.
My father died 3 years ago on July 13th. 3 days shy of my birthday and 4 weeks shy of seeing my brother and me for the first time in about 9 years. If the universe revolved around me (and sometimes I truly think that it does) I would venture to say that this was incredibly bad timing on his part. However, we don't pick the time when we get brought into this world, and we, for the most don't get to choose when we leave for better things. My dad and me had long periods in our lives when we didn't speak. As child, in my teens, as an adult. He was simply not around and I did not get to experience a lot of what little boys, adolescents, young men and adults experience with their dads.
But we did skip stones when I was a kid. he'd challenge me to find the better stone, who had the biggest skip, the most skips, and we'd be out there for a long time. There was no talking....our attention was focused on our silent competition. There would be the occasional grunt of success, or "awwwww" at the loss of a perfect rock improperly thrown and kerplunking in the water... such a waste. But there would be my dad with his grin, a Camel's non filtered and an impeccable throw.
So I'm back from a short camping trip with my son. Of the things that he loves to do, he loves to find a skipping stone. He gathered them up greedily, like a leprechaun might horde gold. He brought them to our camp site before our final night and made sure that he had them tucked safely away, lest another leprachaunish child with cruel intentions and the audacity and cojanes to raid our campsite for his precious find. None of this happened obviously and this morning we sat at the river and quietly, he threw his rocks. Some of them were doozies... skipping twelve, thirteen, maybe fifteen times across the river just shy of the bank on the other side. I watched him and the memories of my dad came flying back. I said more than once, "Your grandpa would have been proud." "Wow, I don't think that your grandpa would have had anything on you."
There were many things that my father didn't see. Never saw me play guitar. Never saw me struggle over homework. Never comforted me when I was dumped by someone i really liked in highschool. Never gave me lectures about underage drinking. Never helped me drive a car. And I never did get to see him that final time. We were three weeks short.
But all of this doesn't matter. We skipped stones. We sat and laughed and taunted each other. We had the silent and not so silent bond of a father and son. My dad was the biggest man in the world. His love for me in that moment was infinite... and I know that he carried that seed with him for the rest of his life. Regardless of how deep it was buried or how many years went by. I know this because I experience it with my son. I experience the silent love that only a father and son can experience.
I hope that I will be in my son's life for as long as I'm alive. I hope that I can watch him grow into a man and share those same simple moments with his child. Those slient, almost silent and not so silent moments are like gold. I will hungrily and greedily hold them close to me, like a leprechaun... or more aptly, like a father who loves his son dearly.
